It's tough being a grandpa

On Friday, after I'd picked up the girls, Pamp fell down while he was washing windows and broke his hip. He had surgery on Saturday (and again on Sunday) to put in a plate and some screws. He's home now, but he's looking at a 6-8 week recovery where he can't put any weight on the leg. In the mean time, he'll be getting around with a walker and crutches. It's like deja-vu (all over again) - my dad loves that joke. He was on crutches after tearing his Achilles when Kennedy was about two-months-old. He somehow managed to care for her, alone, by pushing her around in the stroller a few inches at a time. Just one of the many reminders of how lucky we are to have our family caring for Kennedy and Macy! Here's Kennedy and Pamp in his fancy German boot.

At least Grandpa Brent is home from the rehab hospital. He is doing very well getting around with his new knees. Kennedy told him that he needed the surgery because, "his body was falling apart."

We love you both, and wish for your speedy and continued recoveries!

Play time

Pamp called me at work to tell this funny story: Kennedy has been playing with the two rocking horses - apparently one is now named "Mama-nee" and the other is "Nana-nee" - feeding them and then teaching Pamp how to milk the mommy horse. This is accomplished by squeezing the stirrups so that the milk goes into the bucket. And if baby Nana-nee isn't ready for a drink, the milk goes in the fridge for later. The other day I was talking to her about what horses eat: hay, oats, apples, carrots, grass, and sugar cubes. I also mentioned that baby horses drink milk. I think the combination of this and milking the cow at the farm must have given her the idea.

I love to watch Kennedy play. She talks to herself when she's playing alone. It's the cutest thing to hear, and no matter what she is playing with (animals, dolls, tools, magnets, musical instruments...) her scenarios always seems to involve, "This is the mama and this is the Kennedy!" There's usually a daddy and a baby sister, too. Then the family goes on adventures to the museum, or errands to the bank, to school, takes naps, eats lunch, and then they go to bed. They have conversations with each other about all kinds of things. Sometimes there's some crying by the Kennedy toy and comforting by the mama toy. That makes me smile.

Naming her friends is also a new thing. Before we had "blue baby" and "pink baby" and each animal was just called by its animal name. Now all of a sudden her octopus is called "La-la" and she was playing with a wedge (from the flooring installation kit) the other day named "Baby Molly," which she swaddled and carried around all over the house.

Macy is starting to play much more, too. She reaches and grabs for toys and passes them back and forth between her hands. And, she's reached the stage where everything goes in her mouth. My dad said that yesterday she took the bottle from him and held it herself for the entire feeding. She is showing quite the interest in eating real food; she watches us very intently at mealtimes now. I think we started Kennedy on cereal at 5-months, so it might be about time.

Finding balance

I made a vow not to be a helicopter mom, but there are definitely benefits of being so involved with your children. But what about the opposite strategy, free-range parenting (who thinks of these terms anyway)? I read an article about a mom in New York who let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone. There were lots of negative comments - people who would never allow such a thing, but I don't think it sounds so bad. You obviously have to prepare kids for a situation like this; teach them what they need to know to accomplish the task safely and where they can turn for help; maybe even do some trial runs first. The article pointed out that crime is actually down from when we were kids, yet our parents let us run free. Will I be able to let Kennedy and Macy go out and experience the world, learning to be independent and self-reliant? I hope so, and I hope that I'm starting to lay a foundation that will allow them to develop self-confidence, self-sufficiency and happiness as they grow.

Of course there is a balance in parenting that is hard (impossible?) to perfect. I don't want to hover (but I do want to have a general idea of where the kids are and what they are doing). I don't want to over-schedule (but, I do want them to have some structured activities in their lives). And in general, I don't want to do things for my children that I know they can do for themselves (but I do want to be able to maintain some form of control - I am the mom, after all).

Then there's the balance of meeting the needs of both girls. I feel like I get to spend quality time with each of them alone, and we do lots of fun things together. Honestly, having two kids is easier than I thought it would be. Kennedy is such a good big sister and Macy is so easy going and happy. The two of them are so cute together, and I often take advantage of times when they can entertain each other. Kennedy loves to make Macy smile and laugh. Macy delights in watching Kennedy run around and do silly things. I just hope Macy's first words aren't "just a minute," which she hears many times a day while I'm talking to Kennedy. Like, "I'll help you with that in just a minute after I'm done feeding Macy." Or, "Just a minute, Kennedy. I need to put Macy down for a nap." Or, "Kennedy, I need just a minute to sit and rest!"

Progress!

We are making good progress on our living room/dining room/kitchen project. Thanks to all the help from Ben, Derek, Jason, Ira, Paul, Sara, and our parents. Jake is doing a great job, and it looks amazing! But, everything in the house is a mess. We're finding creative places to eat our take-out meals - no room to cook, and no stove or dishwasher right now. Kennedy loves the living room picnics we've been having.

Grandpa Brent is also making great progress with his physical therapy. We're amazed at how much he is doing on his own and how well he's getting around. We went to visit and he showed Kennedy how to press the buttons on his bed. She loved going up and down and being folded up like a taco. She was so sad to leave that Grandpa promised her that she could give Macy a ride on the bed the next time we came. Macy got her chance when we went back tonight. I don't know that Macy enjoyed it as much as her big sister.

Grammie and Pamp came over to watch the U game. It's too early to tell if Macy likes football, but there's no question where her allegiance lies...and we think she looks pretty cute as a super fan! Jake bought this outfit at least a year before I was pregnant with Kennedy. I think he must have known what was in store for us.

How to be a good parent

I read a great article in today's New York Times Health section that argues against conditional parenting (offering affection for good behavior and withholding affection for bad behavior) - When a Parent's 'I Love You' Means 'Do as I Say.' I love the philosophy of this piece, which is very similar to what they teach at Kennedy's school, and particularly this quote:

"unconditional acceptance by parents as well as teachers should be accompanied by "autonomy support": explaining reasons for requests, maximizing opportunities for the child to participate in making decisions, being encouraging without manipulating, and actively imagining how things look from the child's point of view. The last of these features is important with respect to unconditional parenting itself. Most of us would protest that of course we love our children without any strings attached. But what counts is how things look from the perspective of the children - whether they feel just as loved when they mess up or fall short."

Ha ha, take that Dr. Phil! Link to the full article by clicking on the title of this post. Having great kids, like our girls, helps to make the job easier, too!

Bocce party

Paul and Sara hosted their second annual bocce/margarita party on Saturday. Bocce is kind of like Italian lawn bowling. Last year Jake and I were the tournament champions, but this year we were knocked out of the competition in the first round. There were two little boys there, almost the same ages as Kennedy and Macy, and their parents brought so much stuff - chairs for each, play mat for the baby, ride-in car for the older boy and an assortment of balls and toys. We took a more minimalist approach and brought Kennedy a coloring book and crayons and just a blanket for Macy. I have to say that I think our kids were having more fun. Kennedy really got into bocce, and had to take a turn after everyone else had a chance to throw. She was so cute, but I didn't think to get out the camera until later. Macy loved looking up at the trees and was just laughing and babbling away.

Caps for sale

Kennedy loves the book Caps for Sale. When our friends, Paul and Sara, suggested that she see how many hats she could get on her head, I could tell that she was thinking of the peddler and the monkeys. The answer, by the way, is six.