Mimi

Marian Davis Fletcher Harrison

December 8, 1923 - March 12, 2010

My grandma, Mimi, as we always called her, died March 12th. This is the first grandparent I've lost (which I think is amazing considering that I'm nearly 33.) Her bladder cancer had spread, and just a few days after we saw her for Kennedy's birthday, she took a turn for the worse. Hard as it was, I'm so glad that I got to spend some time with her at the end. I also volunteered to speak at her funeral on March 20th. At first the thought of it was terrifying, but then I started to get the feeling that it was something I needed to do - not only to honor Mimi, but to show my love and support for my mom and my aunt, to set an example of strength and courage for my daughters, and to provide some closure for myself. Here are my remarks and a letter that I wrote to Mimi two days before she passed away:

After we heard that Mimi had passed away, my husband sat down with our three-year-old daughter to explain it to her. Since then she has been telling everyone, "Mimi's not here. She died." Or, "Mimi died and she's in heaven now. Her body's not hurting anymore." It's been helpful for me to see things from her perspective, as it is a reminder that this is a part of life - and what a full life my grandma was able to lead.

While we were having dinner last Saturday at my grandpa's house, we were telling stories and talking of ways we can remember Mimi. Kennedy said, "Grammie! Grammie! I know something about Mimi. She was brave." We joked how it was brave of her to ride an elephant and take the subway in New York, but I think her greatest act of bravery was in the way that she battled her cancer. She never let it get in the way of the things she wanted to do. Sometimes it was even hard to remember that she had the disease at all.

Before I went to visit her for the last time, I sat down to think of all the things I wanted to say. There was so much, so I decided to put it in a letter, and I'm grateful that she was able to hear these things before she passed away. I've been asked to share the letter with you today.

Dear Mimi,

I write to you with so many things to say, knowing that I won't be able to express it all in person. Here I am saying thank you, I love you, and goodbye. I can't believe this time is here - you are my grandmother who never wanted to be called "grandma." It made you feel too old. It worked! You didn't seem the same age as other grandparents I knew. Your red hair, red nails, red car, flashy jewels and bold clothes gave you a youthfulness that was hard to match. And now imagine that you are a great-grandma. I'm so glad Kennedy and Macy have had a chance to know you. But they will only hear stories of your exotic, far-away travels. I so admire your adventurous spirit and jet-setting ways. I remember your disappointment about not being able to set foot on Antarctica, your last continent. Well, now you are off on one last adventure. It's so sad to say goodbye, so instead I wish you Bon Voyage!

I am incredibly lucky to be part of a family with such a strong and generous matriarch. Thank you for the amazing opportunities and wonderful memories! I love the time we all spent together in Coronado - it almost felt like a second home. I always looked forward to the 4th of July with trips to the beach, seeing the parade, and most of all the Navy show and fireworks display from your patio. Going to Peru and Ecuador was a trip of a lifetime. Yet, it was followed by more incredible trips - St. John, Cabo, La Jolla, Mississippi River, Sun Valley. I am truly appreciative that we got to do and go and see so much, but even more because we did it together as a family! And I was so excited when I got to be included on Mother's Day trips to New York. I loved the introduction to fine food, excellent theater, and my first ride in a limo! Although I haven't developed a taste for a good glass of wine, shopping, or watching tennis of TV, I have learned many things from you.

I hope to live my life, like you have, surrounded by loved ones. I see the special relationship you have with my mom and Kathy, and it makes me thankful that I have daughters! I want to be giving, sharing time and treasure with my family, building on a family tradition to last for many generations to come. And I wish to be loved, like I know you are, because I love you, and I see so many others who feel the same way.

Mimi, you will be missed! But I know we will remember the good times and raise a glass to you! Love your granddaughter, Katie

The service was just perfect - I think she would have loved the stories that were shared as a tribute to her exciting life. My favorite was one told by my aunt about several baby alligators my grandma tried to bring home from her travels to be family pets - unfortunately none of them ever survived the plane ride. It was sad, funny, tender, but most of all it was a celebration of a woman we loved and will miss very much.

The girls were amazing during the viewings, funeral and luncheon at the Country Club. I am totally surprised by the understanding of death that Kennedy seems to now have. She was very interested in seeing Mimi in the casket, and repeatedly asked to be lifted up. When we talk about Mimi, Kennedy always reminds us that we will "remember her and keep her in our hearts." She also frequently initiates a toast with, "Cheers to Mimi!"

Macy was her usual good natured and charming self. I took her with me up to the podium to serve as a security object and as someone to share the spotlight with. She also seemed especially interested in looking at the beautiful floral arrangements and photos around the room. It was really nice for Mimi's friends and my mom's extended family to see them both. It was also great to have Uncle Andy in town! We missed Aunt Meg, but know she was hard at work on her thesis.